Back to reality... hmmm or am i?!

Hi everyone, sorry it's been a while... quite a while in fact!

So my French adventure has come to an abrupt end. I'm still unsure of how i feel about this, on the one hand it is fantastic to be home with my family and friends, living life as it used to be. The problem being that life here is the same whilst i feel i have changed a lot and I'm not entirely sure we are in sync at the moment. Yet on the other hand, i am missing everyone in Bordeaux greatly! I didn't realize how much i had adapted to the French way of living (and eating!) until i came home and it suddenly dawned on me that the Bordeaux adventure was over....at least for the time being.

It's all such a 'catch 22' situation, whichever of the above scenarios i dream of, i will always be held back because of other factors relating to the other scenario... i just can't cope with decisions at all!

And speaking of decisions, i am currently having a moment of uncertainty. After coming back from my year teaching in France i am still no more clearer on whether i would like to teach or not. Which then leads me to the dreaded question; "what do i want to do with my life/career?" to which my answer is simply; "who knows!". Not exactly the most assuring answer really.

So i have been taking the time to think of my possible opportunities, or even more simply my possible 'dream jobs', having come up with a shortlist i felt i would be much more clearer on my career intentions... oh how wrong i was!

The options: So of course there is and always will be teaching stuck in the back of my mind, but do i really want to do this? The fact i am still questioning myself after teaching for all this time does plant a growing suspicion of doubt in my head. Another thought i have been having, (again since i was 10 thanks to TV crime shows) is joinging to Police. Now i am aware this is completely different to my origonal plan, so you can see where i am beginning to confuse myself already with my choices! This just seems like a very exciting and adventurous job, every day proving to be just as challenging as the next, never knowing whats around the corner, or who! Ok so two options so far....ready for the next one? Writing... for a newspaper or magazine, something funny and quirky (even though i doubt i am either of these things!) the problem here is that i have no idea about how to even get into something like this, and what to write, where to write it and more importantly....do i have the ability and skills to be a good writer/journalist/editor!!! (i would just like to point out that at this stage my head is already thumping and i am just writing these ideas down on my virtual piece of paper!) So finally we come to my last dwindling dream.... translation(preferably with the police or something exciting like that...) but of course we come across another hurrdle, i only speak French(even then, am i fluent enough to do such a job?) and i am aware that there aren't that many french criminals roaming the streets of Scotland...or are there?! If so please direct all my way!

So there you have it...my once cheerful blog about my adventures in France seem to have come to a halt for the time being and are being increasingly overtaken by my inability to decide on a career. I would just like to remind you all (as well as myself) that i do have another two years left of my degree in English and French, yet i feel that these two years will just run right by me, leaving me stranded with a degree and no idea on what to do! So if anyone out there has any idea...no matter how wild, stick 'em on a postcard would you and sent them to the following address: Miss Completely confused, confused lane, Scotland!

Good times...and the bad!

I must say that i really do love it in Bordeaux. I have amazing friends and i have gotten to know some amazing people. I know that i am going to miss is here, yet i find myself wishing away the days until I'm back home with family and friends. It is difficult to imagine that in less that 6 weeks, (2 of which i wont actually be teaching) that i will be leaving this part of my life behind. It's been good, it's been bad and at some points it really has been terrible! BUT...it has been amazing!

I had my first 'really' bad experience with a class the other day and whilst i know not to take it to heart, as the kids simply just don't seem to care with whatever teacher they have, i mostly felt disappointment. Not for myself, but for the kids. They have this amazing chance in life to achieve all that they can, to better themselves and to prove everyone and their judgments wrong, but they are blowing it. The sad thing is that they will later grow up to realise what could have been.

As my time comes to an end with the kids i am struggling to come up with ideas on what to do with them in class. Whilst i have many idea, it is more that i want to give them the best classes yet and make their time with me memorable. I have so many wonderful kids at the schools and it has been an absolute pleasure teaching them.

I also want to make the most of my last weeks in France, exploring more and taking pictures along the way. I already have so many amazing memories through the little adventures i have been on and those i have been on them with. Only yesterday i went to St.Emilion, just for a little day trip and it was amazing. Myself and two other friends (teachers from the college) went for a good walk around, tried some wine, some macaroons and just thoroughly had a brilliant time.

Me and Odile having a little drink in St.Emilion :D

I can't wait for more amazing adventures with all of these amazing people!! Don't worry...i will let you in on the adventures too ;)

Is that the Sun i spot in the sky?!?!

Well we have had two days of glorious sunshine here in Bordeaux and i am almost tempted to believe that the weather is going to start picking up from here on in! Is this a possibility or just wishful thinking! Unfortunately i think it is probably the latter!

However, it is going to get better soon and i can't wait for it! Back to the way it used to be, Picnics in 'Jardin Public' again with the girls (minus the ridiculously expensive cheese this time), coffee outside a cafe soaking up the sun, eating tea outside at 8 o'clock, with no coat on!! Those were some of my best times in Bordeaux and i CANNOT wait for it to come around again.

Taking advantage of the wonderful weather yesterday, myself and Lisa(another English assistant) went and tested the newest addition to the city of Bordeaux the 'vCUB'. Thats right Bordeaux now has its very own set of bikes to rent scattered around the city. And i have to say it wasn't all that bad! If you forget about the fact that cycle lanes just tend to stop in the middle of the road and you are left to fight it out with the cars and the buses then it was a success. We had a wonderful cycle around Bordeaux, getting lost along the way but hey ho, that's all part of the experience. Right?! I also realised that i hadn't been on a bike in a rather long time...who said you never forget how to ride a bike? As i would beg to differ! Overall, a wonderful day spent though...

The sun is once again shining today and whilst i feel i should take advantage of this while i can, i am also rather aware of the fact that school is starting back up on Monday and (of course) i have no lesson plans prepared for my classes yet. So I'm thinking I'm just going to open the windows and let the sun shine in whilst i figure out what the hell I'm going to do with the little rascals. (granted, some aren't that little!)

What do i really make of France?!

I am aware that it has been a long time since my last post, for that i apologise! But i must say i have been having a wonderful time in France.

Just the other day i was having an insightful conversation with my friend Michael, over breakfast on his balcony in Avignon. (who says life as an assistant is hard eh!) We were contemplating the 'what if's'. What if we had stayed on at uni for 3rd year? what if we had never came to France? What if we had never met those people? And i must admit, i was shocked by the answers...

I had once considered not coming to France for the year abroad, a mixture of fear of the unknown and being away from the known, and i was thoroughly terrified of what lay ahead. However, i have since realised that it was definitely one of the best decisions i have made in my short life to date! I can't imagine my life at the moment without my Bordolaise life and those amazing people in it. Whilst almost every day i spend a fraction of my time thinking about home and what would have been had i stayed at home, i now realise that my time here in France has only helped me towards becoming the person that i want to be in life. Someone that is not afraid to make mistakes, (and believe me i have made a lot since my time here) but is learning from each mistake made and taking that next step towards become that adult that everyone encourages you to be! Being in France has also made me realise how much i do love the French language, and that it does play a very big role in my life and i would very much like it to continue like that. I often wonder what i would be doing or what my life would be like had i not continued with my interest for the language...less stressful i would imagine!! I jest! But in answer to all of the questions asked on that balcony in Avignon i would have to say that i have no regrets, and i think the most important question is, 'what if i had never came to France?'! I would never have encountered all of the wonderful people that i have done on my travels and in Bordeaux, i would never have experienced the French culture first hand, i would never have partied with Frenchies all night long, i would never have achieved the level of French that i have at the moment, i would never have experienced the French education system! But more importantly i would never have been able to have as much confidence in myself as i do now. I know that i am capable of so much more than i once thought, i just needed to prove it to myself. And for that i definitely have France to thank!

So for that France, i will be eternally grateful!

Until next time y'all!

Me, Bordeaux and the crazy French lady!

So all has been going pretty well in Bordeaux. Still missing family and home yes, but i really do love it here. So much so i am thinking of choosing Bordeaux as my place to come for my studies when i need to come back to France. Whilst i know it would be good to explore another part of France i also know that i have friends here, i know the City and what's more i know that i actually like it!

I have also done a little thinking whilst out here and i think i would really like to teach English to French kids for real...not just this pretend stuff that we are doing at the moment but actualy be a proper English teacher out here in France. The only thing stopping me is being so far away from family and friends...but they can move right?!

The teaching is still going great, i love the College, the kids, the teachers, they are all lovely and all make an effort with me. I'm not going to lie and say the kids aren't a pain in the butt sometimes but hey, everyone has their off days right, i know i do! The Lycee has grown on me more, however i'm still finding it difficult to fit in there, the kids are nice but just don't feel as comfortable in the staff room as i do in College. However, there is one woman(25) who has taken to talking to me in English as she wants to improve etc, she is very forward and open and hits me a lot in a playful manner (though it actually hurts!!) but she is also really funny and brightens up my afternoons spent in the staff room. I have just recently learnt that the reason she wants to speak English better is so that she can watch Desperate Housewives in it's original form and 2 days before the French dubbed version is shown, what better reason to improve your language skills!

Went to see Twilight:New Moon this week too with Lisa, and yes we went to see it in French, which by the way i actually understood! go me...i thought it would totally ruin the experience but no...thankfully i was able to laugh when appropriate and cringe when required. And let's not forget, there was a suitable level of half Naked guys...done deal!

So this week coming should be eventful, got a birthday celebration coming up, which will end in tears i'm sure! Also Michael...my best friend(awww lol) is coming to Bordeaux for the weekend, he is in Avignon at the moment, i will make it there eventually. So will keep you informed of the week and how it progresses. Can't wait!!

Bises!

Le Boulet

Hey so i just had to update you all on the film that i watched last night on tv here in France....it's called 'Le Boulet'... i feel i have to share my experience as it was just so funny. Now here was a film filmed in France, in Paris in fact, that has attempted everything possible to steer clear of the typical french looking film. The obvious next step for them was to try and make the film into an American action thriller/comedy, BUT withough the big budget, needless to say it was no Hollywood blockbuster! The effects were awful, the kind that you watch and say, really?!?! your trying to pass this off! But neverthless it was extrememly funny and the terrible effects throughout just strenghthened the comedy....however i'm sure this was not the intention of the director! Also one of the actor in it i actually recognise, not from a French film but an English speaking one, so must go and investigate who he is cause i can't remember is bloody name!!

So if you're up for a laugh and wanna watch a french film check this out...i think i may even watch it again one day so it can't have been that bad...although my roommate Lara did leave the room and sat in the kitchen for the entire film but hey, it was fun!

Oh how i love the French!

Hi all

Been a while since i've written on here, sorry about that...will try and keep more of a rhythm.

Firstly i would just like to say that i love France and the french!!

Secondly...the French are weird! Just in general weird! Those of you living in France will know exactly what i'm meaning, constantly kissing each other passing on 'Grippe A' like its an extended form of facial herpes! Also the paperwork...does France not know that we are trying to conserve rainforests and their vastly decreasing trees. But what really gets me going is need to insert the following words into a conversation every 2/3 words throughout...'genial', 'super', 'cooooolllleee' insead of the normal cool! oh and let's not forget, 'buh'..."ah buh, oui, buhhhhhhhhhhhhh"....if you don't know what to say how about just being quiet and giving my eardrums a rest for, oh i dunno, 2 seconds!

Anyway enough ranting about the French's speaking habits. Having such a great time here. On Saturday night was at my roommates teacher's house for what we were told was just a little apperatif!! on the contrary..turned out to be the womans birthday, she proceeded to whap out the champagne, with loads of little nibbles which turned out just to be the starter. THEN we had duck, which was superb! But the best is yet to come, she served the duck with only the finest pomme de terres that exist in the whole world...Smileys!!!!! Now that was just pure class, dunno what was going on there, champagne with Smileys but hey ho it rocked my socks neverthless. We also had tarts and canalais, a typically Bordeaulaise cake. oh and we also went through our fair share of red wine. The teacher though was absolutely fantastic, such a hoot and her daughters were lovely too, we never stopped laughing the whole night. For any of you that have french tv or know of the programme 'un diner presque parfait' we decided that night that we are going to have our very own 'diner' doing everything just like the show, right down to the filming of opinions in the toilette!! the french really do have class huh??

Oh also went to see 'This is it' the Michael Jackson film, which i must say was pretty amazing, for any of you that haven't ventured to the pics i highly reccomend that you do. The man was a legend, even at 50 his dance moves were still spectacular!

Anyhoo bye for noo....