Hi everyone, sorry it's been a while... quite a while in fact!
So my French adventure has come to an abrupt end. I'm still unsure of how i feel about this, on the one hand it is fantastic to be home with my family and friends, living life as it used to be. The problem being that life here is the same whilst i feel i have changed a lot and I'm not entirely sure we are in sync at the moment. Yet on the other hand, i am missing everyone in Bordeaux greatly! I didn't realize how much i had adapted to the French way of living (and eating!) until i came home and it suddenly dawned on me that the Bordeaux adventure was over....at least for the time being.
It's all such a 'catch 22' situation, whichever of the above scenarios i dream of, i will always be held back because of other factors relating to the other scenario... i just can't cope with decisions at all!
And speaking of decisions, i am currently having a moment of uncertainty. After coming back from my year teaching in France i am still no more clearer on whether i would like to teach or not. Which then leads me to the dreaded question; "what do i want to do with my life/career?" to which my answer is simply; "who knows!". Not exactly the most assuring answer really.
So i have been taking the time to think of my possible opportunities, or even more simply my possible 'dream jobs', having come up with a shortlist i felt i would be much more clearer on my career intentions... oh how wrong i was!
The options: So of course there is and always will be teaching stuck in the back of my mind, but do i really want to do this? The fact i am still questioning myself after teaching for all this time does plant a growing suspicion of doubt in my head. Another thought i have been having, (again since i was 10 thanks to TV crime shows) is joinging to Police. Now i am aware this is completely different to my origonal plan, so you can see where i am beginning to confuse myself already with my choices! This just seems like a very exciting and adventurous job, every day proving to be just as challenging as the next, never knowing whats around the corner, or who! Ok so two options so far....ready for the next one? Writing... for a newspaper or magazine, something funny and quirky (even though i doubt i am either of these things!) the problem here is that i have no idea about how to even get into something like this, and what to write, where to write it and more importantly....do i have the ability and skills to be a good writer/journalist/editor!!! (i would just like to point out that at this stage my head is already thumping and i am just writing these ideas down on my virtual piece of paper!) So finally we come to my last dwindling dream.... translation(preferably with the police or something exciting like that...) but of course we come across another hurrdle, i only speak French(even then, am i fluent enough to do such a job?) and i am aware that there aren't that many french criminals roaming the streets of Scotland...or are there?! If so please direct all my way!
So there you have it...my once cheerful blog about my adventures in France seem to have come to a halt for the time being and are being increasingly overtaken by my inability to decide on a career. I would just like to remind you all (as well as myself) that i do have another two years left of my degree in English and French, yet i feel that these two years will just run right by me, leaving me stranded with a degree and no idea on what to do! So if anyone out there has any idea...no matter how wild, stick 'em on a postcard would you and sent them to the following address: Miss Completely confused, confused lane, Scotland!
4 years ago